Hog Blog

Would you believe that I had NEVER purchased a Mango before in my life??  They are actually really yummy!!  The other night I grocery shopped and only passed through the “outer realm” of the grocery store.  Come on, you all know what I am talking about…..it is the sections that DO NOT contain anything that says “just add water” or “just add meat”.  In the veggie section I found myself looking at something that looks like the weeds that grow in my back yard.  Am I suppose to eat this or dice it as a spice????  I still have no idea!!

So I purchased an all vegetarian menu for myself……..fruits, vegetables, lots of greens, and SOY MILK!  I haven’t had the guts to try it yet though.  I did try soy nuts though!  They are pretty tasty.  I even got my picky son to try them and he likes them!!

There are veggie burgers, veggie sausage(seriously???), tofu ice cream, and all kinds of stuff I am going to need to wrangle the courage up to try.   I don’t think it will be all that bad as long as I don’t start sprouting big long furry ears and a cotton tail.

Oh and next grocery excursion-TOFU BACON!!!

2 Samuel 22:33 God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.

So…….many of you know that my attempts at losing weight have been somewhat less than successful. I have, however, been able to give up Coke altogether. My new vice is FIJI water! I LOVE it!!

Recently, a lot of you know, I had some blood work done. This revealed that my cholesterol/triglyceride levels are quite high. I am a heart attack waiting for a place to happen. Even though my kids are quite a handful sometimes, I definately do not want to orphan them early!

So………I am on my low cholesterol diet. Reading online about this problem has led me to this horrible discovery that pretty much anything that comes from a cow has to be cleared from my menu. So this blog entry is a tribute to the beloved(and yummy) Cow………………..

(Please read the following and imagine that I am atop a large stump in a cow pasture.)

My Salute To The Cow

Oh my beautiful furry friends

Our days together have come to an end

The journey with you has been oh so sweet, er, uh, salty

But my blood work has come back rather faulty

The grill will miss you as it sits by the pool

And at the meat counter they will have to wipe up my drool

Oh, Cows, with US consumption being in the tons

No longer will you add more girth to MY buns

So, I must leave you now with great haste

For your steak is making my blood turn to paste

Go back to peacefully chewing your cud

No longer a predator, I am your bud

Even though it will make me cry

To your yummy rump roasts I now say,”Goodbye”

    I have had several people ask how the weight loss is going.   AND I appreciate it so much!  So here is the answer……………Over the holidays I kind of fell off the weight loss wagon and on to the gross dirt road.  THEN the wagon proceeded to run right over me!  I put back on the 10 pounds that I lost.  I am feeling quite a bit like Jabba the Hut right now.

So of course my new 2008 resolutions are…………………………oh who are we kidding I am still working on my 2007 resolution!!  WEIGHT LOSS!!  So a new year……..a new month………..and a fresh start!!

I am still very confident that God is my strength and together we will overcome this problem.

Lamentations  3:22-23

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

    So I have been working out really hard.  AND OUCH!!!!  My whole body is killing me.  It truly is very therapeutic to punch on the bag for a VERY long time.  Any frustrations-GONE!  Seriously……..every mom needs to have a wavemaster bag to punch on!

When I was younger I was able to do more sit ups than anyone else and faster.  Now I struggle to complete the 100 crunches that I force myself to do.  Ahhhh, youth………where did it go?????

I am dreading the holidays.  All the goodies!!! Even my mom is sending a box of holiday treats that I will have to pass on(sorry mom!).  It will even have some of my favorite toffee in it!!!  If any of you see my kids this holiday and they are on a major sugar high.  Just know that they are on a sugar high because I made them eat all of the goodies super fast so I didn’t have to look at them.

I remember reading about a celebrity one time(can’t remember which one).  The gal actually gets her dessert, eats one bite, and then proceeds to pour salt all over the top.  See I might just dig to the bottom to see if I could find some without salt.  I have NO will power!!

Someone needs to write a book about how long it takes to burn stuff off.  Like a hand full of M&M’s or two chocolate chip cookies.  NOW that’s the kind of girls need to learn.  Two chocolate chip cookies = 25 minutes on the treadmill.  OR 1 piece of apple pie = 1 Tae Bo video.  See how this works?????

OR BETTER YET………….1 Mc Donald’s coke = something, anyone got the end to this one????

I have been talking about it for months but it is finally true now! My living room has all my workout equipment in it. There is a bag in the corner for punching(my favorite and a must for ALL moms!!). I have weights, a treadmil, and jump rope(for outside!).

So I worked out today-really hard. My legs feel like jelly now. After my stretches I did about 200 punches on the bag-per arm. This because I kept getting phone calls and would take them while I was punching. Then I did 100 crunches, 50+ fire hydrants per leg, 100 crescent kicks per leg, and a bunch of other kicks and stuff. Plus a measley 5 minutes on the treadmil because the stinkin thing goes FAST even on slow!!!

WHEN did any of our mothers tell us that we would lose more and more of our bladder control the more kids we have??? You know when they say, “We would LOVE grand kids!!” They should have followed it with…….” But you will never get sleep, the little sweeties will dictate when you shower, dress, etc. and OH BY THE WAY…..Say goodbye to your bladder control.” I don’t have problems with this on a daily basis but add in some jumping jacks and some jump roping and WOW what a problem!!!

Oh the joys of a good healthy work out!!!

    We will just call it the LemoNOT diet, as in NOT gonna happen.  I called it quits when the cayenne pepper felt like it was going to completely dissolve my stomach.  When you end up rolling around on your bed in agony from the burning sensation in your stomach it is time to stop!!  Fasting on just water sounds like a much nicer way to detox your body.

This is not going as well as I planned.  Am I ready to give in and just sign up with weight watchers???? I don’t know.  ARGH!!!  Very Frustrating!!!

Ok so I failed miserably on the Lemonade Diet. I made it an astounding 6 hours!! I bow to any of you that have made it longer. ON the UP side, the actual lemonade drink is rather tasty.

HOLY COW! I ate like a pig over Thanksgiving-OH COME ON you know you did too!! We are all walking around with little curly pig tails attached to our booties right now.  OINK OINK!

So here is the Lemonade Diet TAKE 2!!  We start in the morning drinking the brine, er uh, delicious lemony fresh soothing beverage.

Maybe if I smear apple pie filling under my nose, THEN drink the stuff, I can fool my head into thinking I am having Apple Pie???

So here we go, again!

Cheers!

I can only imagine the feeling that a sky diver has just before he jumps.  It has to be much the same feeling that I am having right now as I look at the stock pile of lemons, syrup, and pepper………my new cuisine.  This is natures equivalent of DRAINO.  The lemony stuff goes in one end and all of the gunk comes out the other……am I right?????

We will begin tomorrow.  It was suppose to be today but Ray had to go out of town.  Car rides are not a good time for this!!!

Until then I will stare down in to the “Vat O Lemony Brine”  that is my life and hope that I can endure.

Life gets crazy………I have been pre-occupied by a zillion things and have left my poor blog to sit here all alone and sad. I love that a bunch of you great gals have been on me to get something new up here. SO HERE IS THE UPDATE>>>>>>>>

I have lost 10 lbs! I am at 240 now.

My next crazy adventure is “The Master Cleanser”. (by Stanley Burroughs) I just read the book today and am preparing myself for the, um, adventure?? I guess is what we will call it.

So……this involves a diet of water with lemon or lime juice, pure maple syrup, and a pinch of cayenne pepper. Watch how much of the pepper you add!! Right Rebekah?? and pretty much that is all you have. All of the time. From what I hear it is quite “cleansing” if you know what I mean. i have a feeling I will be sticking close to the bathroom for awhile.

Hubby and I plan on doing this for at least the minimum 10 days. Tell me, what nut job plans to lose weight during the Holidays??? UH that would be me.

Follow along………..I am sure I will document the journey.

My scale has been fluctuating between the same 6 pounds for several weeks now. It is making me CRAZY!! Have I lost them or haven’t I????? The only upside to this diet thing so far is that with all the nervous energy my house is becoming quite clean and organized.

I am REALLY tired of going to my closet and flipping through realizing that i have like 3 pair of pants that still fit. I have 10 pair of jeans hanging there but none of them fit anymore. I am like a church building project that is behind schedule, over budget, and has WAY too many rooms!!

And SERIOUSLY after I loose this weight…… I NEVER want to go into another Lane Bryant again. This is definately not my style AND must everything in the store have to be worn with a tank top? OR have a plunging neckline?? Holy Cow, you need duck tape to keep from falling out of their tops!

So I am bringin out my secret weapon……….My stash of Billy Blanks DVD’s!! So to my Big Booty…………Say HELLO To My Little Friend!!!

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded the? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.