Hog Blog

It’s funny what my view of a food portion is.  I would venture to guess we would all see it as a plate full of food.   Boston market has a great Turkey Carver sandwich.  It is so yummy BUT they sandwiches are SUPER small.  We had one of these for diner last night.  Turkey, lettuce, tomato, on whole wheat.  It is SO good!!

It went WAY too fast.  I found myself mourning the loss of the sandwich when it was gone.  No matter how many times I searched the wrapper it was still gone.  Before I would have gone and ordered a gazillion sides to go with it and eaten until STUFFED.

THEN I remembered what my friend Rebekah told me. (Hi Rebekah!)  She said she trys to make her food portions around the size of her fist because your stomach at natural size is roughly the size of your fist.  Anything else is just stretching out your stomach.  And then when your stomach starts growling again then eat again.  So the sandwich was just the right amount!

This is a great rule of thumb, er, uh, rule of fist!  Leave it to God to give us an actual measuring tool on our own body!  You would think He loves us or something like that!!

My kids don’t know how to swim. None of them do. It isn’t because I have some crazy irrational fear of water. That is except for being stuck on a bridge that is over water, that is a whole other irrational fear that can be dealt with some other time.

I am quite a good swimmer. I have a large box of ribbons and medals to prove it. When I was a kid I pretty much lived at the pool. Training before and after school and during the summer. I love to swim!

But we NEVER go swimming. WHY? My excuses span from, “we just don’t have access to a pool” to ” I don’t have a swim suit”. BUUUULLLLLLL!!!! What I tell my husband is, “They don’t allow whales in swimming pools.”

It is just shear embarassment to go out and let everyone see all of my flab just flapping around in the breeze. (If you are easily offended then here is my warning about the movie clip

HOW selfish is that??? To make my kids go without doing something SUPER fun because I haven’t been able to keep from eating the WHOLE Mc Donald’s menu at one time.(ok this may well be an exageration, not the whole menu!)

My kids will be able to swim by next summer and I have a date with my friend Melissa (hi Melissa!!) to go swim suit shopping in the spring. I will be swimming next summer with my kids!

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

So I have been eating well for about a week now.  Lots of fruit, veggies, lean meats, and plenty of water……….. My body is starting to be MUCH happier!!

UNTIL YESTERDAY!!!  It was hubby’s birthday.  I wanted it to be GREAT!  We ordered pizza-that is-veggie pizza.  I had one piece.  YEAH!! This is up against my normal 2-3 pieces plus bread sticks-YUP-everyone do your best pig call!! SEEEEEEWWWWWYYYYYYYY!!!!

AND for CAKE……..I bought a SMALL cookie birthday cake.  We all had a SMALL piece.  After all we are changing our lifestyle not ceasing to live!  But I definately didn’t want any leftover Edgar Allen Poe cake to beckon me from the fridge in the middle of the night.

OH MY GOODNESS did I REGRET eating ANY of it!!!  I woke up this morning and my body launched into a horrible migraine and topped it with Montezuma’s REVENGE.   A birthday revenge sundae………EEEEWWWWW!

Needless to say after Kaopectate and pain meds I welcomed back my yummy veggies.

Proverbs 23:1-3 When you sit down to eat with a ruler, consider carefully what is before you; and put a knife to your throat if you are a man given to appetite.  Do not desire his delicacies, for they are deceptive food.

Just wanted to say to my wonderful, supportive husband………HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!   I love you so much and hope you have an AWESOME day!!

100 is such a nice number.  There are 100 pennies in a dollar.  If someone handed me 100 dollars I certainly would not be upset about it.   We learn to count to 100 in Kindergarten!  This is a big accomplishment!

You get a TURQUOISE star on Ebay when you have successfully completed 100 transactions and receive positive feedback for them!

My daughter just informed me that she weighs 95lbs which is almost 100 and she is ADORABLE! (proud glowing mom!)

Don’t we celebrate when something or someone turns 100!!??? YEA PARTAE!!!

SO 100 is WONDERFUL!! RIGHT?????

NO. Not when you are looking at 100 POUNDS you have to lose.  Talk about staring up at a dude named GOLIATH!! My last Baby was just under 6 lbs at birth.  So that is like 16.6 extra newborn babies I lug around ON me everyday.

Remember my daughter is 95 lbs.  So basically I am going lose the weight of an 11 year old!!

SO……….. MONDAY……in honor of my 100 goal I will start with 100 EVERYTHING.  100 sit ups, 100 pushups, 100 of each of my Taekwondo kicks, 100 punches of each kind.  100 times jumping rope.  HELLLOOOO!  Can we say Super DUPER sports BRA!!! I don’t want my girls getting out of control!

Colossians 3:23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men

Lots of people have asked me exactly “what” I am doing to lose weight. Am I going in to Weight Watchers? a gym? Atkins? South Beach? Well, the answer is…….. I have tried most of these! Who has time to count points?? And I don’t want to eat meat all of the time. And WOW South Beachers……….some of those recipes are really involved!!! And well…… I hate cooking!!! Although I do LOVE the South Beach prepackaged meals!!

**Side note: If one of these plans works for you then AWESOME!!! They just haven’t worked for me. **

So here it is. I am planning what I will eat for the week, each week, each meal of everyday(even snacks). But OK I do live in reality……..if you have a gaggle of kids in a zillion different things you are more than likely going to have to eat out during the week. SO here is my Five Second Fix……….

If you running around like a crazy person and realize that you haven’t had time to eat. MAKE sure you have something premade in the fridge. I just stocked mine with the South Beach premade lunch wraps. FIVE SECONDS…1. Open Fridge, Grab Box, Close Fridge, ……..food problem solved and it’s HEALTHY!!!

OR the Five Second drive thru fast food order. KNOW what you can order that is healthy at every Fast Food place. Make it an automated response for you. Like when you hear Wendy’s think….Ahhh Madarin Chicken Salad!! Most places have bottled water now. It is worth the extra few pennies it will cost to buy the water.

I think everyone has a different way that works for them. I keep trying to remember that God has specifically asked me to take care of this body-which according to the bible is actually HIS body. So I am taking care of something that belongs to GOD!!! Hmmmm, I haven’t been doing a very good job!

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your Spirit, which are God’s.

Exercise begins next week……………BEWARE!!!!

So OK this post isn’t so funny, so I will stick in my favorite commercial here:

Did you know it is national Talk Like Pirates Day??? YUP! September 19 is National Talk Like Pirates Day!! Just in case you don’t believe me check out www.talklikeapirate.com . This seems to have intrigued my husband and I am sure will be VERY exciting for anyone else’s husbands. Well, who doesn’t want to be a pirate???

Of course, this isn’t as glorious a talent as being a VERY skilled Synchronized Swimmer like some husbands ………………………

I know our husbands are very stressed so why not give them a day to Talk Like Pirates!!! Can you imagine a conference meeting all in pirate lingo?? Or how about a teacher that speaks like Jack Sparrow all day???

So tell your guys and mark your calendars, September 19 is National Talk Like Pirates Day!!!

Did you ever see the 360 mirror on the show “What Not To Wear”? Just in case you didn’t realize that you dress bad, they stick you in a room completely surrounded by mirrors! You get to see the horror from ALL sides.

I only have 1 mirror in my house. On the back of the bathroom door. This is TRUE. AND it is incidentally, very broken. I avoid it at ALL costs! It is in the bathroom and frankly I use it only to fix my hair and make-up. When I do catch a glimpse of myself I sometimes think, “WHO is that person?”.  I feel like I am watching one of those 20/20 documentaries on Overweight America. You know the footage where you say out loud, “They make Bikini’s in THAT SIZE???” and, “Boy, I wouldn’t want to get the seat on a plane next to that person!!”. Then I realize-that is ME!!!

We have another mirror. It is still sitting on the floor in my living room. Facing the wall. I always tell people that it is not up because our stud finder is broken. Which is true!! BUT the real reason is that I am just avoiding the reflection. Can you say DENIAL!!???

I am putting up more mirrors.

James 1:23-24 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.

Tonight was so much fun-just gettin together with some gals at Olive Garden. I promised myself when I went in that I would only have 1 breadstick and I did!!! I didn’t drink any Coke today either!!!

The chocolate cake was the most tempting tonight. It smelled SO GOOD!!!

I found that a really good remedy for this beckoning chocolate delicacy. I just remembered how I have noticed that the lumpiness in my thighs is starting to resemble cottage cheese. (ooohhhh here you go again squirming in your seats!)

Now I don’t really appreciate this look and have never really been a big fan of Cottage Cheese anyway. It’s kind of a funky food and seems to be already half digested. Is this really the “LOOK” I want for my body???? This seemed to cure my need for chocolate cake anyway!

I have to remember that eating and drinking can be used as a tool to glorify God. It is simply taking care of what is already His.

I Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own.

What is your vice? What makes you just drool?? Is it that favorite Ice Cream? Is it the chocolaty drizzly thingamabob that you just have to have? Or maybe just some hot buttery, garlicky bread sticks??

My Vice- Coca Cola. Not just any Coke will do. NOOOOOOO, I have a very specific favorite. McDonalds Coca Cola! I LOVE IT!!!! I have virtually no defense to it. AND .89 cents people!!!!! -for the BIG one!!!

So I say SHAME ON YOU MCDONALDS!!! SHAME ON YOU for luring me with your beverages of deliciousness!!!!

I have heard rumored (I don’t know if this is a fact) that McDonald’s filters their coke something like 37 times. For maximum tastiness!

So here is my vow!! In front of all of you, and you are more than welcome to ask me about it………No more will I bow to the yummy sweet bubbly liquid!! I will keep my .89 cents in my pocket!!

This is the first of many things to change for me…….One at a time…….Baby steps!!!!!

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.